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(Date Posted:08/08/2006 9:31 AM)
PURINA DIET
I used to have a Labrador retriever and was buying a large bag of
Purina at Wal-Mart, waiting in the check-out line. A woman behind me
asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting
The
Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up
in
the hospital last time. But, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and
IVs
in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry, as the food is nutritionally
complete. So, I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, especially a tall heavy man behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd been
sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
The tall guy nearly had to stagger out of the store, oxygen-depleted
from laughter. I paid for the food and left a lot of smiles behind me.
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What does it matter it"s in the past...(Rafiki from the lion king) | 
